Thoughts from a Thinking Girl

I spent some time over the weekend strolling through Portland, OR’s rose gardens (there are two, go figure – I thought there was only one). I brought my low-end digital camera, and just started walking, stopping whenever color, form, or curiosity moved me.

I took a ridiculous number of pictures, and some came out pretty well. Nothing spectacular, nothing gallery-worthy, nothing that will do anything, I suspect, except give me some momentary pleasure, calm, and a silly sense of pride at having participated in making my own kind of beauty.

I have the kind of mind that must be engaged in some activity in order for me to really slow down and relax – beach combing for shells, putting together a puzzle, or taking endless photos in some natural setting. It’s been years since I’ve pulled out a camera for this purpose, and I regret the years of soul-quieting I’ve missed. Photos were part of another life, another me, but I can still recall a few of my images, even though the actual pictures are gone. I miss them, but don’t miss that life.

I try to pull myself up and out of the mundane urban vistas, the views of streets and cars and parking meters and traffic diversions, to allow my eyes to rest on something of the natural world. I do this almost daily. But the profound quieting of my being that occurred strolling for an hour or so amongst nothing but roses was a different kind of experience.

Last time I had it was searching for oyster shells along a coastal spit in Blaine, WA at a lovely resort. I walked and walked and my breath slowed and my heart opened and I was not just relaxed but feeling complete, as if there was nothing else in the world to do but search the shore for iridescent white. When I was through, I had a cache of shells and rocks and stones that are, in some ways, worthless, but which I poured over and cleaned and even used to serve salmon medallions so that I could extend the feeling of peaceful completion into my everyday.

I think I might reclaim this “old” way of expressing and extending myself, morph it into my current life, my current me. Hope these shots bring a moment of slowing to anyone who needs it.